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Posts Tagged ‘cow’

GOING “COUNTRY”

 

This city girl in years of yore

Had not been countryfied before       

But I learned quickly, to my core              

That Country’s not just farmland lore

Water pumped from frigid well

While all around me snowflakes fell

Incasing me in icy shell

The words I used, I cannot tell

                              

The old outhouse (a thing I feared)           

Had not been seen where I was reared                

With yawning door, I know it leered

Beckoning to me as I neared    

Terror put me in despair                                

Because it was so dark in there

Big spiders lurked just everywhere

And slivers pierced my derriere

 

Gathering eggs before they froze

Didn’t help my hands and toes

Besides, the hens pecked at my nose

Adding to my country woes

 

I milked the cow . . . well I tried

I had no fear, since she was tied

But she was antsy — kicked my side

It hurt so bad I almost cried

I slopped the hogs – how gross was that                  

And gagged so hard I could not chat

I chased a funny looking cat

And when he sprayed, outside I sat

 

The snow did nothing for the scent

Earned from my country accident

My clothes were buried by a gent

And six baths later I was spent

That was just the first long day

But I’ll go back there anyway

When it’s warmer – perhaps May

But Heaven forbid that I should stay

8/17/04       Phyllis DeWitt-VanVleck

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ed-phy-w-by-carThis is a photo of my brother, Edward (on the left) and myself, the girl on the right.   This poem is very close to the true story  of his NOT teaching me how to drive. 

 
WHY I NEVER LEARNED TO DRIVE
(And Probably Never Will)

I never learned to drive a car
And often wondered why
No one took the time to teach
This girl, once young and shy

Could it be that awful story
My brother used to tell
About the day he tried to teach . . .
Comparing it to Hell

First I hit the chicken coop
With quite a thunderous clap
And both of us then ended up
With chickens in our lap

While fighting clouds of feathers
I backed into a tree
I didn’t do much damage then
But Ed was mad at me

And then I hit the garden fence
In panic, as I slid
I just said, “They never should
Have put it where they did”

In backing up I spun the tires
And spumes of dust arose
Then as I freed the tires, I braked
And poor Ed bumped his nose

The cow was watching all that time
With look of such surprise
Until I almost hit her rump
Then terror filled her eyes

Ed jerked the wheel just in time
By now, his eyes were wide
As I drove onto the hilltop
And down the other side

Ed jammed his foot onto the brake
And stopped upon a dime
For traffic on the highway there
Was busy at that time

He told me to get out, right then
And walk back up the hill
While he mopped his bloody nose
And spoke with such a chill

He never took me out again
And it made me rather sad
Because no one else would either . . .
But I think the cow was glad

Phyllis VanVleck . . . 9/25/01

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