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Archive for the ‘Limerick’ Category

  THE ODIOUS DRUNK 

 

The “redneck”was true to his role

And whiskey was claiming his soul

He staggered outside

To the outhouse he hied

And promptly fell into the hole

 

His rescuers chided the drunk

Concerning his odious dunk

So he muttered good news

He was giving up booze

Because after he sunk, he stunk.

 

 

9/94  Phyllis DeWitt-VanVleck

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  THE NAME OF THE GAME

 

The sumos gave big grins of mirth

Then wrestled for all they were worth

And I wanted to know

The “name” of that show …

It was “The Greatest Show on Girth”

 

9/4/91         Phyllis DeWitt VanVleck

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The carp-pool lane

A FISH TALE

Small fish should abide by the rules
And swim in their own fishy-schools
But if they should tire
It’s all right to hire
The service of river carp-pools

9/91 Phyllis DeWitt-VanVleck

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One more bore

    STANDING ROOM ONLY

 

At the party, the sign on the door

Said, “We can’t accommodate more”

But a lummox still tried

So the hostess replied

“Well, I guess there’s room for one bore

 

09/91    P. Adair DeWitt-VanVleck

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       THE ELUSIVE KISS

 

The fellow just wanted to smooch,

   But his breath smelled strongly of “hootch”.

      His girl, filled with dread,

      Lifted dog Fido’s head

And he ended up kissing the pooch.

 

            

9/4/92    Phyllis DeWitt VanVleck

 

Last version, I promise!

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A limerick for February

        THE ELUSIVE KISS (9/92)

 

The fellow just wanted a kiss

   From the lovely curvaceous dish

     The girl, filled with dread

     Just ducked her cute head

And he missed the kiss with the miss

 

09/92 – Phyllis A. DeWitt-VanVleck

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